Xenoblade Chronicles X: Definitive Edition - A Cracked Mira (Review)
- James Stephanie Sterling
- 3 minutes ago
- 13 min read
Xenoblade Chronicles X: Definitive Edition
Released: March 20th, 2025
Developer: Monolith Soft
Publisher: Nintendo
Systems: Switch
Is Xenoblade Chronicles X an overlooked classic on a console that never got its due, or is it a nasty little bastard developed by people who had to have been sniggering away to themselves as they laced their open world with cheap bullshit?
I probably shouldn’t draft a review intro immediately after getting jumped by an enemy a dozen levels above me that had been deliberately placed in the path of my mission marker. Then again, that is part and parcel of the Xenoblade Chronicles X experience, a constant lesson in never trusting a game developer.
It’s a really good game, and an absolute pain in the ass.
Weirdly, despite having fond memories of having fond memories of Xenoblade Chronicles X, the arrival of its Definitive Edition made me realize how little of the actual videogame I could remember. Quite the anomaly, considering my latest journey to the planet Mira has reinforced what an… extreme rollercoaster it is.
At the time of its original release, the wildly different followup to Xenoblade Chronicles was contentious, to say the least. It was such a stark departure from what had come before, and even compared to its predecessor, it was deeply weird. None of this is necessarily a bad thing - I appreciate strange turns - but it’s easy to see why some fans didn’t take to it.
It’s not like the game does itself any favors, either. It says a lot that some of the Definitive Edition’s quality-of-life improvements involve neutering entire gameplay systems so their intricacies can’t prove detrimental. Saying Xenoblade Chronicles X is densely complicated doesn’t do justice to the thick crust of what-the-fuck that surrounds it.
This is a game that needs an FAQ just to navigate its tutorials, it’s that much of a sprawl. We’re talking mechanics within systems within mechanics within systems, one of those games that keeps pausing itself with boxes full of explanatory text - dozens of hours in - because it won’t stop layering more layers onto the layers layered atop layers of layers.
Sometimes it’ll throw upwards of five different explanatory pop ups in a row at you.
For all its tutorials, the bloody thing is really bad at explaining how stuff works. The infodumps are poorly categorized, with no easy way to filter the long lists spread across seven tabs. Some of the “tips” reference mechanics that won’t be introduced for hours because getting it all in order is too much even for the creators.
Navigating gear menus is its own nightmare, especially as you add more party members and their equipment is thrown into a massive shared column of items. You can’t even hide any obsolete quest equipment that’s kept after completion, it stays in your inventory forever. Despite there being “sort” options, there’s no true filtering.
Also, would it have fucking killed Monolith Soft to add a “mark all seen” option? Scrolling through dozens of menus to remove the annoying notification dots is a constant pain, especially with armor having unrelated notifications in both the gear and cosmetic menus. Come the fuck on.
Like I said, it’s small wonder people struggled to comprehend the bloody game, it can barely comprehend itself. While the Definitive Edition improves some things, it doesn’t go anywhere near hard enough - everything I’ve complained about so far is in this version, among many other bits of tedium and hassle I could mention.
Gotta say though, Chronicles X is a treasure in the narrative department. The story of humanity exploring an alien world after Earth got trashed in the middle of another species’ space war is a sweet romp. It runs a heck of a gamut, with heavy doses of space opera, existential drama, and quirky comedy, all tied together with a lot of anime excess.
I love it when a game causes me to switch out my party members for no other reason than because I want to spend time with everyone. A large cast of characters can be recruited and called upon to form a squad, and I choose them based on personality far more than effectiveness.
HB could be surplus to my party’s needs, but I find his exaggerated haughtiness too fun to resist. Frye’s amiable, beer chugging persona is more important than his stats. Elma and Doug are just gosh darn likable, L is adorable, and Murderess is such an openly treacherous bitch I can’t help but revel in her. There are a few boring ones, but it’s fine considering the bevy of options.
Everyone’s suitably voiced, with little subtlety and plenty of enthusiasm. This is especially true of the expanding set of villains, whose hammy performances are a real highlight. Tatsu, however, can fuck off. If Lin actually made good on her many threats to kill and eat the squeaky ballbag, she’d become the greatest hero of the Xenoblade franchise.
Xenoblade Chronicles is a series known for never shutting the fuck up, and X is no exception. Stock phrases are yelled on a loop throughout every battle with varying degrees of annoyance. I thought it would be funny to use the “classic” voice for my protagonist, and her bad British acting was indeed amusing for about three minutes. Hearing “BAYM BAWWAGE” for 100 hours is sonic torment.
That said, it’s probably the most tolerable chatter in the series, especially when compared to some of the horrendous repetition in Xenoblade Chronicles 3. I also must admit, the shout of “AVVA BISCUIT” when tossing a grenade has not gotten tiresome yet.
One thing that struck me with the Definitive Edition is just how unafraid the script is of charming banality. Among the torrent of sidequests is a large number of fluff scenarios and “slice of life” moments - maybe you’ll help introduce an alien race to underwear, or just have one of many idle chats with colleagues. It puts me in mind of Deadly Premonition if you can believe it, with funnily surreal takes on the mundane.
That said, newcomers to the game should prepare for an overwhelming docket - the map rapidly fills with an insatiable storm of missions and side content. Many of them have prerequisites, and locating those among the mess is your job. Manually meeting arbitrary requirements is a running theme - it’s not enough that quests put restrictions on your party members, it’ll want you to keep removing and adding team members instead of doing so itself like a normal bloody game.
Can you believe I actually really like this thing? Hell, I used to love it. When it’s at its best, I still do.
Beyond all the faff, Xenoblade Chronicles X is full of great stuff. I’m actually shocked I managed to forget so much, because so much of it should be unforgettable. For as many systems as X dabbles in, pretty much all of them are terrifically crafted - whether it’s fighting, exploring, upgrading, and the myriad distractions in between, one would be hard pressed to say any of it’s badly made.
Combat is a real highlight, taking the quasi-MMO battle system of Xenoblade Chronicles and presenting it with a level of energy that makes fights feel faster than they are. I personally find that this kind of combat gets tiresome after a while, but even after dozens of hours I’ve been more than happy to have a scrap.
The series overall features really engrossing combat thanks to how cooldown abilities - called Arts - are influenced by character positioning, synergies with other attacks, and the bonuses you get for using them at optimal moments. Even when every single one of your Arts are cooling down, the action doesn’t feel like it slows, especially since few Arts take particularly long to be ready.
Something about this installment in particular makes me utterly absorbed in the deeper elements of battle. I’m not the type of player who typically cares about crafting the perfect “build” for my character, but classes and their associated Arts are just a ton of fun to tinker with. Currently I’ve centered all of my Arts on strengthening Beam type damage, all to buff up an already devastating Beam Barrage Art - watching the gradually chipped health bars get decimated in one move is always satisfying.
Sorry, I meant to call it the BAYM BAWWAGE.
Xenoblade Chronicles X, being so sci-fi focused compared the games it’s sandwiched between, stands out for a prevalence of firearms and futuristic gear. Assault rifles, giant lasers, lightsabers, and more do a lot for the combat - while basic attacks are still automated, they still feel good thanks to flashy animations and effects that add to combat’s audiovisual enthusiasm.
Of course, the biggest differentiator comes in the form of gigantic fuck-off robots, otherwise known as Skells. Good gravy, it’s been lovely to remember how damn terrific the big metal bastards are.
There is one thing I definitely do remember, and that’s how bloody long it takes to get the first mech. Skell access was always notorious for taking anywhere from several to dozens of hours depending on how thoroughly one plays. Even when you finally qualify for one, Chronicles X can’t resist making you jump through a bunch of hoops for a pilot’s license, because of course.
It’s worth it though. Very, very worth it.
The Skell represents one of Xenoblade Chronicles X’s greatest strengths - its ability to up the ante for players in a way that alters their perspective of Mira. After spending so long traipsing around the planet on foot, surrounded by creatures that dwarf you, getting in a Skell for the first time is truly empowering. Suddenly, you’re able to make eye contact with things whose notice you were completely beneath, impossible jumps are no longer a problem, and you can transform into a car for the audacious fun of it.
That’s all before the ante’s upped again. After spending a good deal of time running around in your mech, you get a whole new upgrade with the ability to fucking fly. Once again, your perspective of Mira is completely altered, as you become able to look down on everything. Each step upwards makes the world feel smaller, but in a way that still lets you enjoy how vast it really is.
It’s something I know I didn’t fully appreciate back in the day, and I’ve gained a new respect for exactly how long it takes to step into that Skell for the first time. After getting so accustomed to how Mira looks and feels, having your relationship with the environment utterly redefined is impressively dramatic - doubly so considering how the bloody game pulls it off twice.
Of course, one of the biggest delights of the Skell is a sense of evening the odds against Mira’s once intimidating behemoths. Skell combat is essentially an upscaled version of the regular battle system and it works really well. Due to their size, they attack a bit slower, but fights feel no less energetic thanks to how much of a punch Skells pack.
As well as two basic weapons, each mech gets six slots in which to plug specialized attachments with specific Arts, and I love the vast majority of them. Miniguns, rocket launchers, gigantic beam swords, it’s all hot stuff. I’m a huge fan of the sweeping chaingun Arts that provide some much-needed crowd damage, and even basic weapons, like the flamethrower, can be immense fun.
Skells are a great time except for one little thing - Xenoblade Chronicles X soon finds ways to revoke the sense of power they provide, because if this game prides itself on one thing above all else, it’s kicking dirt directly into a player’s eyes and mouth.
Yeah, let’s talk about how Xenoblade Chronicles X is a spiteful little twat.
Of all the things I’ve forgotten, I really don’t recall this game being so utterly cunty. Every corner of the world is populated by enemies with wildly disparate levels, which shouldn’t be a problem - just stay away from enemies dozens of levels stronger than you, right? Problem is, those impossibly strong enemies are explicitly built to not stay away from you.
I am confident in saying almost 100% of my deaths were because an enemy dozens of levels above me intruded its way into a fight or popped out of the ground and totaled me in one hit. It is a constant issue, reaching a point of sheer exaggeration that I’m still in genuine disbelief over how often it happened. Since attacks are rubberbanded to the point of connecting across ludicrous distances, even just escaping an unwinnable fight is unlikely.
The scattershot distribution of enemies with massively varying levels feels like part of a wild and unpredictable ecosystem… for about an hour, after which all the intrusions and ambushes become tiresomely routine. You’re not designing an unpredictable world when you’ve only got one nasty little trick in your book and you deploy it incessantly.
A vicious amount of early missions are effectively staked out by monsters whose levels are inappropriate for the player’s expected range. Completing some of these come down to dumb luck, as despite having so many gameplay systems, nobody thought stealth might be a useful one. There’s a particular level 3 quest guarded by level 36 monsters where the only thing to do is run in and just hope you don’t aggro them.
Sorry, but that’s just garbage game design, and this game revels in the rubbish.
It’s about as fun as Dark Souls would be if it had two Black Knights hiding around every corner. It ground down my enjoyment to a nub as time after time, fight after fight, quest after quest saw my party battered by some giant fucknut that popped out of nowhere and cleaned house, sometimes without me even getting to see what it was that killed me.
Intrusions that are unavoidable. Impossible fights that are inescapable. Low level missions acting as bait for high level ambushers. Enemies you can actually see hiding but can’t target on paths where they can’t be avoided, a blatant setup so the game can enjoy making your party flinch in “surprise.” It is not a matter of difficulty. It is not a challenge. It is pathetic.
It’s the design equivalent of that kid at school who’d invite you to his house to play a game you didn’t know the controls for just so he could beat you. I’m sure it was very fun for Monolith Soft to make a bully’s playpen where they could always win against their audience, but frankly I’ve always thought the “tee hee” school of game design was crass.
Such careless enemy distribution also makes boss battles consistently underwhelming. When you fight a level-appropriate boss after first having to survive ludicrously overleveled enemies, how are you meant to feel threatened by the poor thing?
Those Skells, the awesome big mechs that even the odds? At times they feel like a trap, as it won’t take long to realize they make you even easier to detect by monsters so damn powerful they can tear your robot apart like tissue paper, and unlike your player character, Skells don’t simply respawn - it’ll be a trip back to town for you, and the expenditure of a salvage ticket or insurance money to have your beautiful machine rebuilt. .
Also, why won’t my stupid fucking “teammates” revive me when they have the resources to do so? I have no idea, but they’ve handed Monolith Soft plenty of wins on my corpse’s behalf.
If it were a lesser game, the liberties Chronicles X takes with my patience would see it consigned to a bin. Thing is, as much of a malicious little shit as the game is, I have continued pouring dozens of hours into it. There’s something disarmingly magnetic about it, something that keeps me coming back for another distinctly unfair pummeling.
That aforementioned presentation really helps matters. Mira’s landscape can be truly breathtaking, capturing a sense of scale far bigger open worlds simply haven’t managed. Creature designs are amazing, featuring some truly imaginative alien life forms, while all the technology featured is just plain cool. I enjoy the home area, New LA, with its prefabricated suburbs providing an uncanny contrast that feels more alien than the aliens.
Special mention must be made of the sublime soundtrack. I’m a big fan of battle music that comes with cheesy lyrics, and singing is in shameless abundance. Sometimes the music is dissonant, such as an emotive bit of warbling when facing really dangerous monsters, but it works through sheer stylistic temerity. Some of the tunes are dangerous earworms - I defy anyone to spend time in New LA and not succumb to the constant chanting of “Yeah, huuuuh, oh, oh, oh, oh…”
I really can’t say enough good things about the music.
As far as remastering goes, the Definitive Edition keeps things conservative. A few quality-of-life improvements make their way in, but absolutely nowhere near enough to sort out the many inconveniences. A visual coat of paint has been freshly applied, which is especially noticeable in characters’ faces. They look a little more cartoony, but I don’t mean that as a negative - the more stylized appearance works well.
There’s a new chapter added, and it’s proven… contentious. It's a nice thing to see such an old game get fresh story content, complete with new characters, even if the results have left fans with mixed opinions. I personally enjoy some of the all-new characters who can be recruited to your team, particularly NeilNail, and not just because she's cute.
By far the best addition Definitive Edition brings is the Quick Cooldown feature. It lets you instantly use an Art while it's cooling down, and it is a literal game changer. If a party member requests you use a melee or ranged Art but none of yours are ready, a simple button press will meet their demand and gain you the bonuses for doing so. Quick Cooldown's also useful for maximizing the effect of Arts that "combo" when performed in quick succession, and it's great when caught in a low level fight that you could end quickly by spamming BAYM BAWWAGE until everything's dead. You have a set number of Quick Cooldowns per battle, with no way to regain them until the fight's over, but you get a generous helping so most fights require little rationing.
While some might consider Quick Cooldown a bit of a broken mechanic, I think it makes fights feel far more tactical, and it really helps keep one involved with the otherwise automatic action. It's a feature I think would benefit the entire series.
Back in the day, I loved Xenoblade Chronicles X, but playing it now has introduced a feeling of hate to go along with it. So much of it is well crafted, with a terrific combat system, and I’m endlessly charmed by its significant silly side. Those positives are heavily offset by an untamed UI and a crude facsimile of challenge predicated entirely on ambushing players with impossible odds against which they have no defense.
It’s a delightful adventure, dripping in imagination. It’s a saturated mess, prone to tedium. It has a knack for redefining itself in truly engrossing ways. It has a mean spirit that facilitates truly vulgar environmental design. Its world is breathtaking and vast. Its world is hateful and myopic. It sounds incredible. It sounds unbearable. It’s intensely absorbing. It’s offputtingly self-indulgent.
It’s Xenoblade Chronicles X and I love it. It’s Xenoblade Chronicles X and I hate it.
7.5/10
